Everything is Gonna be Alright (…Someday)

Eyes on the Prize by the Emmaus Group Singers, original movie score by Hans Zimmer, song lyrics from…multiple sources.

I love this movie. This song comes on in the very end when Bronte and Georges are being separated…and they realize they’re in love. It’s the sweetest and the music editor did a perfect job. Big emotions. Big tears when I watch it.

Anyway, when people say “everything is gonna be alright” this is the song that plays in my head. I’ve heard that phrase a lot lately, so I had to figure out where it came from. I knew it was from a movie with a big climatic romantic scene. (FYI, you can rent it on Amazon for $3. Now in my happy movie watch list.)

I managed to repair my weekend after the internet was mean to me yesterday. I watched some movies and today I started painting my studio. My lovely friends suggested a meal prep day where we each get some meals to freeze, and we socially distanced and prepped lots of freezer meals today.

They were brilliant…they knew this was a way to get me to accept help but also they benefitted, too, from getting meals. It was a nice starter of accepting help. They prayed for me, too, which was beautiful. Thank you, friends. <3

I also have had many many of you reach out and ask how you can help and what can you do. Some of you have asked for my address, many many are waiting in the wings ready to activate at a moment’s notice. I promise to ask when I need something. I did put a cancer/wellness wishlist on Amazon if you want to send me something for my meditation space. I mean…I literally love warm and/or cute socks and receiving some would make my day. So. There ya go.

IT IS SO EMBARRASSING to even tell you I made a wish list. I feel cringey about it, but it’s up to you what you do with that information. I’m evolved past my crap enough to not worry about what you all choose to do. (hugs)

These are the walls I covered. It wa a little sad painting over all the art Quin has painted on my wall using POSCA paint pens, but he’ll do more.

My studio is going to be lovely. I measured it all out, and the tables and shelves all fit on the left side under the horizontal window. That leaves me the other half to create a yoga and meditation space. I can put my Chinese prayer chest (inherited it from my sister in law, who has been fighting stage IV breast cancer for 8 years and is stable) in a corner and put my sage and beads and crystals and hand drums and a diffuser in that area. I’m super excited. Having this to look forward to this weekend was a wonderful diversion. I am going to LOVE being in my space creating or just being centered. I’m going to make a special spot for Quin, Jess’s youngest son, to store his sewing projects. Quin is really thoughtful and mindful about pattern and texture and really genuinely likes fabric. I ordered myself a new inexpensive Brother sewing machine last week so that both of us can sew simultaneously.

Sam is an awesome kid, too, BTW. I know I don’t mention him much. He’s about to turn 13 so he’s often on his phone or watching Basketball with Jess lately. We bond about music. He really pays attention, and when we play music he is starting to pick up on how songs are related to earlier artists and genres. I keep trying things out on him to see if he’ll like them as much as slack rap, but so far no. I still appreciate the effort.

I love that I’ve made a family with Jess and we’re doing our best to live through this pandemic and now this cancer shit as best as we can. But I really miss being able to see my kids and my huge family. I haven’t seen any family in well over a year now. It’s shocking how quickly and slowly time goes at the same instant. My kids are supportive and loving, and have concern for me, naturally. I want to hug them and let them know I’m really ok.

This sucks.

But everything is going to be alright someday.

Before (left), and in-between (right) I have about 1-2 more coats, and trim. Then I’ll move my things in slowly and intentionally. I’m perhaps for the first time going to begin the yoga mindfulness.

We can do hard things.


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