Well, I voted. I can control who’s name I bubble.
But I can’t control anything that isn’t happening at this exact moment.
I am sitting in a pile of pillows on my couch, (my hip hurts) I have my feet up, the cat is sitting next to me. I can hear the low breath of the gas furnace and distant traffic. I can control what audio channels I listen to in my ambient noise space.
BUT. I cannot control what my body is deciding to do with cancer cells.
I can eat better, sleep better, work better, be better…and it won’t make any difference.
Today I am Dory. I am just swimming. I am taking a break from cancer talk or research for the next 15 hours. In 15 hours I go to my first surgery consultation.
I am not going to think about it. I have thought and researched ENOUGH.
This is not something you cram for. In fact, that’s not a great idea.
I’m just swimming.