I vow to continue to do the work.

I vow to continue to fight for racial and social equality.

I vow to put my money behind businesses that are BIPOC owned, and to fight to protect the rights of all people, but ESPECIALLY marginalized people. I especially vow to make sure the rights of Native Americans and that treaties are honored.

I will continue to unfriend people on SM that voted for 45, and this is for my own well being. I also vow to do the work to bridge the gap. I don’t know how, I don’t know what that work will look like, but I’m determined to work in that space, no matter how excruciatingly hard it will be. I will likely be calling out white supremacy even more than I already do, calling out white women, calling out white men, and encouraging them to do. the. work.on.themselves. Like I do, every day, in my own imperfect way. It does not mean I’m going to go out and make a bunch of MAGA friends, but it does mean that I can’t ignore them. They’re why this race was close.

There are significant abusive strategies that 45 uses to communicate with people. He uses fear, especially fear of the “other” to create hysteria in his followers. He wants them to believe that gay people getting married makes heterosexual marriage ‘less sacred,’ that immigrants are going to take our ‘American jobs,’ and that Liberals want to take all the guns. None of it is true, but the way he cleverly communicates is designed to instill fear. I don’t even know if he himself believes these things, but all he is interested in is POWER, which is what an abuser does. When he was speaking to the press on Thursday, I had to remind myself that he wasn’t talking to me, but to the press. He has a way of making the listener think that everything they think is ‘wrong,’ ‘inaccurate,” and a ‘lie’ or ‘fake.’ The fear I have felt during his presidency is huge. I cannot imagine how painful it has been for trans immigrant women of color, one of the most extremely marginalized groups in our country, and yet one of the most powerful units of change in our nation.

I was telling my co-worker Nichole that I feel like I did when I left my last relationship, waiting for the result we knew was close yesterday. Knowing it was almost a win, knowing it was almost over…I was feeling shocked. When I left the abusive relationship, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was stunned. I cried a lot. I sat in that travel trailer and cried. I cried so much I couldn’t cry anymore and slowly started drinking water and researching what.to.do.next. I got the job in Montana. I found Lucy. I cried a whole lot more. A new year came. Then I met Jess.

We are not going to be able to move past the traumatic events of the last four years without some significant recognition of the abuse we’ve experienced. I want to be proud of the flag again, while also recognizing that there is blood on it from genocide and white supremacy.

I want a better world, and I can feel the energy rising to make it so.

We can do hard things. We really can. One.Step.At.A.Time.

Namaste.