This song has been my theme song since I heard it last week for the first time.

“What did we know? We thought we knew a lot.”

“I hope you have enough good company…or enough good memory to last you a long time.”

I miss my family today.

Like a lot. Too much. My heart feels tight.

My mom keeps posting pictures of the old days, from even when my dad and her were kids. Black and white memories with half dressed kids in awkward camera angles. The pictures make me smile until my smile gets so wide that tears start pouring down my sweater and into my lap.

I had a perfectly fine day. I had a professional observation that went really well. I had the bravery in me to have my principal come watch me teach a lesson on “how to talk about politics” the weekend after a massive explosive election cycle has come to a…sort of…end.

Our reading lessons this week, ironically, are all about the theme of how people can help and participate in government. I’m sure it’s timed that way on purpose, being November. But WOW. If I didn’t front load expectations and norms I would have a massive failure on my hands.

So we’re talking about government. We’re talking about how elections work. We’re talking about democracy and voting. The words on those charts are all from the kids. I didn’t put any words in their mouths. It could have gone totally sideways on me, but I guess I feel steeled with courage as a teacher at this point. I feel like I know enough of how to do things the “right way” to make it work. It worked.

I don’t have anything revolutionary to say today other than I did it, I taught great lessons today, and I kept going on. I wish I could be a more thoughtful and brilliant writer today.

Things I’m proud of from teaching today:

I mentioned Ernest Hemingway in class today while teaching writing. We did drum rolls to get all jazzed about learning the Associative Property of Multiplication. (And miraculously they get it.) We got to the point in our Indian Education for All (IEFA) unit “Crossing Boundaries With Art” where we went from studying the symbols and seals of Montana Tribal Nations to taking what we learned to make our own personal art. We made our own symbols, and we’ll take the imagery from those to make our own class seal. It takes a lot of time, but that’s how we roll in room 125.

My boss told me in our after school post-observation visit that I’m a master at creating culture and climate and connection with my students. I don’t know if I even see it anymore. It’s so natural to me. That said, it means a lot to me to hear those words.

I should just hold on to that tonight, that I know how to make meaningful connections and relationships. And that is enough.

Jen. It is enough. More than enough.

***I’m having “AWAKE” surgery tomorrow. Like, he’s going to use a scalpel to open up my breast again along the incision from last time and cut out the remaining cancer margins. All the while I’ll be awake and trying not to look. I’ll have lidocaine and maybe an IV, but that’s it. I’m trying to harness the faith that people have in me being brave enough to handle this. PUKE EMOJI.

We can do hard things. Even when our brains tell us we can’t.

We can do hard things.

Namaste.