Sweaty Cheeks

I’ve been digging holes.

After my house closed I went directly to Home Depot and bought some hydrangeas, lilacs, fruit trees, columbines and peonies.

I may have been a bit excited. I have 11 holes to dig.

So I’m digging.

I’ve been digging holes for a week now, but I don’t have the stamina to do any all the way. So my strategy is do about 12″ down, then set the pot, then water it, thus creating a softer soil next time.

I don’t know how well it’s working because I’m still digging the 12″ down.

I’m okay with this taking a while. I need to get the fruit trees in first because they need the root structure the most urgently.

It’s 86 degrees in Billings today and my hydrangea looks very pitiful.

I have little volunteer squashlings.
Lucy’s gorgeous lilac bush, something of my dreams.

I went to Home Depot after work today to finally order my replacement window for my jacked up kitchen window that’s over the counter. They’re going to demo, install and clean up. I’m doing zero. It’s worth every penny. Unfortunately, it won’t be done until the end of July, but there will be plenty of summer to enjoy before and after.

Walking around Home Depot and smelling its smells and seeing the aisles I used to spend so much time on made me very at home and nostalgic. I immediately knew that spending time working on Lucy is the 100% best choice for my mental health.

I’m getting anxious about my surgery in a month. The women on the breast cancer forum I’m on that have had similar surgeries have had longer recovery times than I’ve been imagining I’m going to have. I’m going to have to have a Come to Jesus talk with myself, a leveling of expectations to basically ZERO. Pretty sure for 3-6 weeks I’m going to be very couch-bound. Maybe some light yoga. Some easy walks. But that’s about all I can really count on doing.

So you see, this is why the urgency to do things on Lucy is now taking me over.

I’m sitting on the deck in the shade after watering and unloading all this compost/dirt/mulch.

Listening to my tunes on my headphones.

Life is hot and sweaty today.

Yeah, I cried getting ready for work. I cried on the way to work. I cried on my lunch break. I’ll cry many more times today before I put my head on my pillow.

But I also laughed and sighed and made sweet little connections with students, and that is all we are here to do.

Humans be humaning.

I’ll take it.


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