I realized I’d only been doing updates on FB, so here is a compilation since surgery on June 23, 2021.

June 23

Ow. In recovery 2. Hurts a lot but got the drugs.

(I was having trouble with my oxygen intake, any time I tried to sleep it dipped really low. So I practiced my reiki and yoga breathing and got back up to 100. Then the nurse felt for me, so she put me on oxygen to make it so I didn’t have to stress out so badly. I was in the hospital a long time due to my general recovery needs, I was there from 9-530. Then my pal came to get me and took care of me overnight.)

June 24

Finally home. Yeah, I’m in pain, but it’s temporary. My hosts Clementine and Tessa and Aidrian were lovely. Hospital didn’t give me pain scrip by neglect yesterday, so survived on Tylenol. At follow up they were apologetic and said I’m healing amazingly well. Surgeon happy, I’m happy with how my chest looks, but at a solid 6-8 pain. Give me scrip, we drive across town to pharmacy near my house-it’s a scrip for someone else. Here’s me at the pharmacy counter crying and looking like I’m trying to illegally get Oxy. We drive back across town, get correct scrip at surgeon office (no apology for messing up…), fill it at a quicker pharmacy, head home. I am now sitting on my couch, one pain pill in, feeling much better but still very OUCH. I’m super bruised and covered with scars, but I know the body heals. In the hospital I had some trouble with my oxygen/breath intake, and so it’s super important to walk around and breathe. And drink water. I’ll be here just healing at home for at least two weeks. After that I’ll venture out a little. Thank you so much for your love and prayers. I appreciate it so so much. I’m going to go radio silence for a while, but I promise to give updates. I need to detach and rest. My TV and couch are all I’m doing. Love you all. Jen

June 25

I’m just sitting here, cats and dog keeping me company. I have the sprinkler going, I could do that without lifting too much. I feel like I’m in a surreal tunnel. Time has slowed way way down. I gotta say-I needed it to anyway. Going to wean off the pain meds this weekend, I’m not in love with feeling so loopy. That said I enjoy not being in excruciating pain, too. I’m just going to start doing 1/2 pills every other dose and see how it goes. (Scrip is for 1-2 per dose!) I’m thankful for all the love. Nurse at surgeon’s office showed me how to do the injection yesterday. I just put it right in, no fear like I expected. It was no biggie! I got brave then and started researching nose piercings. Took a nap with the cats in the afternoon. I love you, I’m grateful for you, and I’m doing ok. Moving around often, but keeping it all light. Can shower fine, but get a little light headed and tired after. Chest is a less swollen but still a total mess. These incisions and bruises are no joke. Water and rest are good.

June 26

Gave myself another shot. They hurt zero to give but sting after as the meds go in. Not a big deal like I thought. Thank goodness! It’s actually-kinda fun in a weird way. I am taking my full meds still. Tapering off made me nauseated from pain and wasn’t manageable. Drinking a lot of water and kombucha and smooth move tea which is um, not making things move. Not much of an appetite but I eat small amounts, including veg and protein. Gonna have a smoothie in a bit. I’m going into detail because I know y’all worry. Body healing, very yellow and purple, incisions weeping, that’s normal. I’m doing ok. Watching Grey’s Anatomy season 10 and just being quiet. I love you and I’m deeply grateful for your love, care, and prayer.

June 27

Feeling exhausted but a bit more human. My incisions are itchy so I walk around talking to myself, saying things like “wow, that’s super itchy,” and not scratching. 3rd solo injection done-only have 3 more to go. Managed to major bruise myself yesterday. Digestion situation is fine-taking no more inquiries. My dog is acting weird AF, don’t know what her deal is. My chest is less swollen, and it’s bizarre to be so…high up. I will be quite youthful looking when the Frankenstein’s monster scars heal. Yes, this was worth it. I’m so grateful to have 7 more weeks before school starts because I’m going to need all that time for recovery. Two friends came over for quick care visits today, so thankful for amazing humans in my life. So. Cancer sucks. Surgery sucks. New perky tits-don’t suck. I do actually see the silver lining.

June 28

I felt like a human today, and it’s mostly thanks to the Tylenol PM I took before bed. Best sleep since surgery. Definitely feeling more healed AND need to stay slow because that’s an easy habit to fall into. My surgeon’s nurse said my incisions may look healed after a few weeks but they aren’t fully healed internally for 8 weeks! Kinda scary, and won’t be messing with that! My lein release for the trailer title came today, and I finalized all paperwork and got my $ from the RV place. I never have to think about the trailer ever again. Someone bought it around Father’s Day, which is awesome. Mama got paid and deposited that check in the bank immediately. I can pay off cancer debt and some other bills, and put money in savings. I may get a new front door now that I know the magic of professionally installed windows. I sent my oncologist a message today to ask when to resume my Tamoxifen (my cancer drug), and I got to reading my path reports. That stuff is still scary and my whole body reacts to reading what I went through. It’s been 9 months since diagnosis. I put on a tee today to go run those errands. I have my surgery bra on under, and didn’t have to adjust my boobs to not look insane under the tee. First time since my whole life, really. I was always lopsided. Cancer made me looking like I had clown boobs. Now they’re just-normal and level. I’m just over here watering the lawn with my sprinkler, petting the cat boyfriend, and being hella grateful to be alive. Y’all, alive is the best. It’s a gold star and a tall glass of ice water. My grateful for being on this side is all I see. Screw cancer. Don’t ever come around here no more.

Namaste.