Goddess of Chill

Days be being days.

Today was crazy. All first days are crazy. Today was physically painful. Some days are physcially painful. Today was busy. Some days are busy. Today was funny. Some days are funny. Today some kids ate Dixie cups. Some days some kids eat Dixie cups.

In Reclamation and Breathe For Change (my yoga training), I have learned that I can honor the crazy, painful, busy, funny, cup eating parts of a day and just let it slide. Just experience it. Notice it. Laugh at it. Ponder it. Wonder WTF. Pause. And just be.

I have nicknamed myself Goddess of Chill for this school year. It’s funny, yes, but I actually also mean it. My body created cancer in the last year. My body has given me severe panic attacks that look like I’m seizing.

Being chill is literally a matter of living or not living for me.

I got to about 35% of what I had planned today. Does it matter? NOPE.

All students were delivered back to their parents at the end of the day. No one griped about masks, even though I had to remind some of them sometimes. They freaked their little 3rd grade minds OUT when we did a whiteboard math subitizing game. I had them, HARD. This class loves math. I heart this.

They had so little reading stamina that we did not (for the first time in my elementary teaching career) do Read to Self stamina building in Daily 5. They had so little reading stamina that we didn’t get through Superdog. SUPERDOG. And the part I read I had to read in two parts! I think that is genuinely hilarious.

When getting books off of my lovingly newly organized library shelves they strewn them everywhere. Not one, but three kids pulled entire literature circle collections off the shelves.

Me: You think you need 6 copies of Ralph S. Mouse?

Student: Yeah

Me: Do you think it’s going to be different in the other 5? It’s the same exact same edition.

Student: um, ok

Me: Put 5 back on the shelf, please.

So that’s a good summary of school today.

Oh and I have 29 students.

-Insert laugh track-

All of this was happening as I was zooming around class trying to forget about my boob problems. My principal covered my room for a few minutes so I could call my surgeon’s office at 9:30. I got in today at 4. I was stressing my poor tired teacher self out. When my surgeon came in the room I was in full crying panic mode.

He took a look. Said no problem. Felt them and admired his work, yet again. (Hahaha!) And told me I was fine. If the wound doesn’t heal in the next week-10 days-two weeks…he’ll stitch me up. He said to my crying face, hand patting my arm, “no matter what it’s going to be fine.” I didn’t do a single thing that caused it. He said I probably had some stitches dissolve and it came open. He said I have lots of layers of skin there from the reconstruction and it’s totally fine.

My yogi surgeon is the chillest. I heart him.

I got groceries, hung with my dog, and am typing this on my deck.

I am the Goddess of Chill. Chillness activated.


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