On top of all the drama already going on with my body post surgery/recovery, I’m having new pain on my radiation side. It’s this weird stretchy feeling, like I can’t stretch my arm completely or my armpit is going to crack. It doesn’t, obviously, but it’s annoying and it hurts. And it just started this morning again.

I suppose this is not knew. I’ve felt this odd feeling on my radiation side many times before.

OK SO HERE WE GO, FLIP THE SWITCH…

This is a good thing now! It’s a good thing that I am experiencing radiation issues vs. having actual holes in my body. Haha!

Pretend we’re good. That’s right. Nothing to see here.

I went to a pub to have appetizers and a beer after work. I was in “Life sucks” mode. And then I ran into two co-workers. That was the best thing ever!

I keep thinking my students are not ready to be independent, but when I send them off to do work by themselves they tend to surprise me. So tomorrow we’re going to pretend we’re good and I’m going to give them more choice. They’re only to 7 minutes of stamina in read to self, so I’m running on faith.

WAIT. JEN. HOLD THE PHONE. IT IS ONLY THE 8TH DAY OF SCHOOL AND THEY CAN READ QUIETLY FOR 7 MINUTES.

Ok, so it’s time to ease up a little and let them show me more. Perfectionist Virgo me has a hard time releasing control until all the players are ready. There are plenty of barometer kids, you know them. They’re the one that always need everything, including your attention. I have finally accepted that is is me. I magnetize them to me. The little friends that are like me or have special circumstances or are especially sensitive or are just…floating…(I tend to love the dandelion fluff friends) well, the universe and my personal life magnet sent those children right into my classroom.

It’s just the way it is and always has been.

No year has been harder than any other, really. And we always fall in love with each other and make incredible leaps in our learning.

I’m going to go forth with bravery. I’m stepping into the arena with my class, ready to just get the shit kicked out of us by learning and life. But we’ll be together, so it’s gonna be fine.

Because sometimes when you pretend everything is good, you magnetize more good to come your way.

I can hang my hat on that.

Namaste.