Yesterday was a cluster of sadness and frustration. So I was determined not to do that again.
Today I slept in. I drank my coffee. I watched some Netflix. I had some toast.
I decided to listen to Marie Kondo’s first book again, and while listening I tackled my tools/DIY supplies/remodeling detritus. I filled an entire alleyway dumpster with things I don’t need, a lot of it wood scraps. My sustainable brain has been holding on to them hoping to find use. But honey, it’s freeing to let that all go. I threw away plastic nursery pots, too. No one reuses them in Montana like in Oregon. I also threw away all the creams and potions given to me from the cancer center for my cancer treatments and almost empty shampoos and creams. Who’s got time to scrape those products from the bottom of the tube? I let my eternal thrifty and earth conscious self take the day off and threw.shit.away.
Goodbye, old vibes.
The New Moon in my sign of Virgo starts tomorrow! What a great time to release old and start new.
Motivated and activated after 70 minutes of tidying and throwing out, I decided to take a shower and get cute. I drove myself to City Vineyard and had two delightful glasses of Willamette Valley Pinot Noir and-gasp-actual cow cheese. I have so rarely eaten cheese in the last year since my cancer diagnosis that I forgot how absolutely dreamy cheese can be. WOW. In addition, the waiter accidentally gave me someone else’s order…so I got double cheese. I came home with a box of cheese and bread to enjoy later. HUZZAH!
I also…let my breasts out. After a lifetime of locking them down (especially working in restaurants and schools) and keeping my cleavage completely hidden, I’ve changed course on that one. I’m letting them out. They tried to kill me. It was a lot of treatment and a lot of money to keep them…so I’m going to enjoy them while I’ve got them. At school they’ll still be mostly discreet. But otherwise, HOLLA.
You’re welcome. My waiter complimented my dress. I know what he meant. I like them, too. This is why I am relishing showing them off.
I’m just here to point out that it is in our wheelhouse, even when depressed, like I clearly am, to choose to have a good day. I tell my students all the time that we can have, and usually do, more than one emotion at a time.
Today I was sad, frustrated, scared, happy, elated, satiated, intrigued and content.
I welcomed them all to the table and ate the cheese.
I drank the wine.
I appreciated the privilege.
I lived a Sunday of reflection.
And I let it be a sacrament.